The Pradaic Devil

A fun movie. Snappy dialogue, rich characters, the incomparable Meryl Streep, glamour and glitz.

Except for one thing that really annoyed me; the writers wimped out. They wimped out when the protagonist, Andy, was chosen over her supervisor, Emily, to make the trip-of-a-lifetime to Paris. And Andy had to break the news. It should be a difficult moment; Andy, as the up-and-coming acolyte, has to tell her mentor that she has been replaced. It was stressed at several points during the movie that the entire focus of Emily's life is this trip to Paris.

So it should be an intense moment. Andy, who has clawed her way up in the face of her own doubts, the loss of her friends (and boyfriend), and the toughness of her boss, must tell the person who trained her that it is now Andy who is top dog. Emily loses; Emily is out. Emily is being replaced. There should be anger! Angst! Recriminations! Shattered dreams! Catfights!

But none of this happened.

Conveniently, Emily gets hit by a taxi and breaks her leg. She can't go to Paris anyway; she is still angry that she couldn't have gone but it's a whole different story. Andy is exonerated, she didn't have to be cruel, she didn't have to take and then impose a morally difficult decision. She didn't have to carry the responsibility of the act, she wasn't forced to confront the results of her actions.

Boring. A letdown.

The writers wimped out.

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Why Bernini was a genius

It's only one man's opinion but...

Son of a sculptor, in his early 20's Gianlorenzo started creating his own works. His David, Apollo and Daphne, and Pluto and Persephone alone are worth a trip to the Galleria Borgehese. Maybe even a trip to Rome. (The Wikipedia articles on these works are good starting points.)

But the one that I find the most amazing is his Constantine. He was commissioned by the Pope to do a work for a niche of the Scala Regia staircase, which leads from the Vatican to Saint Peter's (the stair was also designed by Bernini, wearing his architect hat. Like Michaelangelo, he was good at a wide range of things.).

I'd like to start with that. He had to make a statue for a long, shallow, niche ; it requires a special sort of inspiration to take that starting point and decide to create a life-sized mounted figure. In order to fit it he had to remove a limb from the horse, but who's counting?

The statue depicts the moment before the battle of Ponte Milvio, when Constantine saw the Holy Cross in the sky and converted to Catholicism. True to the Mannerist / Baroque style of Bernini, he has chosen a moment of emotional intensity and violence. Remember, this was the first person to think of doing a David in the moment before he throws the rock. Not the pretty, petulant victor of Caravaggio's painting or Michelangelo's statue, but a muscular, intense athlete putting all his body and soul into the rock and the sling, not knowing (of course) what the outcome would be.

Back to Constantine. Above the niche there is a window, so light is thrown directly down on the statue from above. Mounted on the horse, twisting up and slightly to the left as the horse twists to the right, the emperor Constantine is staring straight up into the daylight ; his face is fully lit while the rest of his body and the horse are partially shadowed. This is good old chiaroscuro and contrapposto and everything else that you learn about Mannerist and early Baroque art. The clothing, the muscles of the horse, the expression of the emperor -- all of them are executed with the detailed perfection of his workshop and his style.

When I first saw the statue, and looked at the placement, the choice of subject, the execution, the form, the use of the existing window ... I was stunned. It was worth having to argue with security guards and jump a couple of queues to get a closer look when we were in Rome in November, even though the Swiss Guard looked ready to start swinging halberds at me. If you ever get to Saint Peter's, you should do it too. In my books, for that statue alone Bernini deserves all the accolades he has been given.

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I think that I shall attempt it again seriously this year.

I have not managed to actually write 50k words in a month since my first NaNoWriMo year; however I think that this year looks promising for it. On the other hand I may cheat and write a series of short stories or other fiction instead of a novel, but I don't think that they'll penalize me for that.

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Summer's vacations

Time to backfill all the stuff I haven't written for the last two months.

First off, the four of us went on an amazing hike in the French Alps. It was four days / three nights, with each night spent at a "refuge". These places are wonderful, as they provide room and board so all you have to carry is clothes and personal stuff (books, flashlights, band-aids...). They are generally not accessible by road, so all the food comes in by mule, hiker, or helicopter. Pictures (commented) can be found here:

http://picasaweb.google.fr/jeff.spock/HikeInTheAlpsJuly2007


In July/August we were in Kentucky for my sister's wedding. The wedding was a great weekend -- including cousins we had not seen for 33 years -- and the pictures (uncommented) are here : http://picasaweb.google.fr/jeff.spock/JennDavid02

We then took some time to go hiking, climbing, kayaking, etc. Kai, my nephew, was with us so if you see a third child in the photos don't start wondering. Kentucky was beautiful, and as if to compensate for the embarrassing idiocy of the creationism museum, there are excellent kid-oriented science museums in both Lexington and Louisville.

We also visited the factory where the Louisville Slugger baseball bats are made, a horse farm, and the Wild Turkey Distillery. The latter, of course, was not really for the kids.

Louis is now proudly wearing a Lousville baseball cap.

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Every once in a while you run across something that simply Must Be Blogged.

"Goldilocks Dies With Honor at the Hands of the Three Bears" -- one of the titles from this page of "Klingon Fairy Tales" :

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/22MikeRichardson-Bryan.html

Back from vacation and in a somewhat blogging mood. While Maine was great, we clearly did not eat enough lobsters.

I'm having one of those days when I wish I was Jamie Oliver, because then all my problems are pukka because they could be solved with a handful of chopped basil and some crispy-fried pancetta.

It is, actually, difficult to eat enough lobsters.

An enjoyable op ed letter to Senator Clinton on the "problem" of video games.

http://tinyurl.com/babao

"I'd like to draw your attention to another game whose nonstop violence and hostility has captured the attention of millions of kids — a game that instills aggressive thoughts in the minds of its players, some of whom have gone on to commit real-world acts of violence and sexual assault after playing.

I'm talking, of course, about high school football."

No, that's not what the article is about. But it's a nice point.

Madison Avenue is more invasive than the KGB:

http://tinyurl.com/cs8a8

"For the past few weeks, Massive Inc., a New York company that distributes ads in videogames, has been testing an ad with full motion and sound in a science-fiction game called Anarchy Online. Today, Massive will roll out the full-motion ad capability to advertisers generally."

One comment on the recent Illonois law concerning game ratings --

"The ESA noted that in 2004, the average game buyer was 37 years old and the average game player was 30. In addition, of all games sold in 2004, only 16% were rated Mature. "

The legislature should not, and cannot, take the place of parents. Laws that pretend otherwise are not merely bound to fail, but must necessarily be invasive, restrictive, and probably unconstitutional.

http://www.theesa.com/archives/2005/07/video_game_indu_1.php

I can't say where this came from, because I wasn't supposed to see the document, but it could have been pretty much any fantasy oty/game/book/cover blurb/PR release/etc. done for the last 30 years:

"For centuries the legions of darkness have gathered their forces..."

Those old legions of darkness keep popping up everywhere, don't they? And they all seem to have read the same business strategy guide:

1. Bide time
2. Marshal forces
3. Wait until moment ripe
4. Unleash hordes
5. Get butt kicked by pimply kid

What about quality circles? Continuous improvement? Customer intimacy? Nimble management? The legions of darkness need better consultants.

1. John Dvorak, a columnist for PC Mag, wrote an editorial bashing the CC. The forum threads that follow give an interesting views of the plusses/minuses of current copyright law, fair use, etc. Of course there are a few idiots and trolls posting, and 70 pages of stuff, but some of it is interesting.

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,1895,1838244,00.asp

2. This is a must-try giggle-machine: The Evil Clown Generator

http://www.scottsmind.com/evil_clown.php

2. If any of you guys use RSS feeds, this site is full of info on the publishing industry. A lot of it is PR, but some is useful.

http://www.newsisfree.com

3. Download one guy's very funny and very short idea of how the original Star Wars movie should have ended.

http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com

In June of 2003 I had a hernia operation; in June of 2004 I attended Clarion West. It is interesting to note the similarities and differences between the two.

Similarities:
1. Both of them changed me permanently; one by removing bad tissue, the other bad habits.
2. Both of them made it hard for me sleep well for about six weeks.
3. Both experiences were run by professionals who were well versed in their fields (fortunately).
4. Both of them were group efforts.
5. I was incredibly nervous before either one started; afterwards I realized they weren't so bad.

Differences:
1. Clarion West was in English.
2. There were no sharks in my clinic.
3. I was allowed to sleep in after the surgery.
4. The support staff in the hospital was a lot less friendly.
5. I didn't keep in touch with the other patients afterwards.

More fun and games--

A free copy of the story behind the legenday Star Trek episode "The Trouble with Tribbles"
www.benbellabooks.com/gerrold

An interesting article on the legal exposure of the OpenOffice suite (the Open Source competitor to Microsoft Office):
techrepublic.com.com/...

Further explanations of fairly coordinated effort to prevent minorities from voting in key states:
tunyurl.com/a6eff

It's amazing what you can run across when you're looking for something else.

Here is an economic proof on the impossibility of time travel.

http://www.rich.frb.org/pubs/equilibria/issue5/logic.html

Oh, well. Another trope bites the dust.

Clarion. Wow. It was amazing. It also ended six weeks ago, and I am still trying to get things sorted out. Regardless of where I go and what I do, however, I will certianly continue writing.

So what's out there?

"Captain Zoe and the Sky Pirate" waiting at Strange Horizons from August 18. This is a piece that I find hilariously funny, though it may be me. It is the first of my Clarion pieces to see the harsh light of the slushpile.

"The Gardener" waiting at Quantum Muse from June 1

"The Perfect Parasite" waiting at The Story House from February 19

Recently removed from circulation for further editing:

"They Shall Plant Vineyards"
"The Deep Cold"

We always knew they were lying; now we know how

This article explains a most interesting fact; year-on-year record sales are actually up by almost 10%, rather than falling by 7% as the RIAA claims.

The RIAA uses the -7% figure to "prove" that file sharing on the Internet is costing them money. However, the number amounts purely and simply to playing with accounting and inventory timing in order to manufacture a theoretical downturn. Basically, record stores are buying less stock forward, keeping fewer weeks of inventory on hand. This trend causes a blip in the order numbers. However, the blip certainly does not reflect a trend, as evidenced by the 10% rise--which is what the customer purchases--versus the theoretical 7% drop, which is what the music industry sells.

What is happening is that the retail points that sell CDs are getting better at managing their inventory. More inventory turns means better returns on assets and higher profitability.

Sure they are making things up; we expect businesses to lie to make their numbers look good. Enron, WorldCom, Shell, and now... the RIAA.

Phun with Photoshop!

Here is a site that is doing some fairly wild combinations of photographs. While the fusing of the lighthouse/Dalek is entertaining, the ones with the people and animal faces are downright scary.

HumanDescent -> Gallery

Shakespeare simplified

For those of us who are either short on grey matter or short of time, the following three sites provide brief, simple versions of three of Shakespeare's works. Please note that, in order to appeal to modern audiences, there are numerous occurrences of strong language.

the plain jane - romeo and juliet scene one

Skinhead Hamlet

Heaneyland!: Pericles, Prince of Tired Plots

This makes me want to do a California version of Macbeth:

Act I Scene III

Thunder. Enter the THREE WITCHES

Three Witches: We have been, like, such bad grrlz today!!

Banquo: Dude, check out the babes.

Macbeth: Three babes!

Banquo: Duuuuude.

Three Witches: Dude, Macbeth! Thane-dude and kingmeister!

Macbeth: Excuse me?

(WITCHES vanish)

Banquo: Seriously strange babes.

Macbeth: Where are the babes?

Banquo: What's a kingmeister?

Macbeth: Whacked out strange babe shit.

Enter ROSS and Angus

Ross: Macbeth dude, the king is seriously jamming on you.

Angus: Word, dude. You're, like, the Cawdor thane-dude.

Banquo: As if!

Macbeth: (Aside) Cawdor thane-dude! Duuuuuude! Tattoo me kingmeister!

Banquo: Dude? Dude?

(Exeunt)

The end may indeed be nigh!

And here is a site that lists all of the possible ways in which the apocalypse may come to visit us. From a massive tidal wave that will wipe out the Eastern seaboard of the US (a geological inevitability, given the volcano involved) to the unstoppable propogation of strange matter, here is everything you always wanted to know about the End of It All.

WELCOME TO EXIT MUNDI: A COLLECTION OF END-OF-WORLD SCENARIOS

Hey, if Fukuyama is right and history has ended, why not all life as we know it?

In addition to the accurate and realistic scientific scenarios (greenhouse, ice age, meteor, ...), there are some excellent commentaries as well about the lack of plausibility of certain bad sci-fi movie scenarios (i.e. if "Indepedence Day"-like aliens exist, and they are smart enough to travel across the universe, they are probably smart enough to figure out less costly ways to acquire raw materials).

One last useful link--here is information on how to stock your larder in the event of the four horsemen visiting a neighborhood near you:

The Survival Center

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When in doubt, make fun of incomprehensible intellectuals.

The following link will generate post-modernist essays at the click of a mouse. They are truly, hilariously, unreadable.

The Postmodernism Generator: Communications From Elsewhere

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